By Jill Roberts / March 11, 2019
I have many nieces and young ladies in my life that I’d hate to think would grow up believing their weight is an indicator of their goodness. When a conversation becomes about another person’s weight, or even your own weight, compliment or not, it sends a message to everyone engaged (and in earshot) that weight is a gauge of acceptance. Young ears take that in, while meanwhile, virtues like honesty, loyalty, integrity and compassion, often go unnoticed.
Even compliments to someone’s size and shape can create a benchmark in a young person’s mind of what they need to maintain in order to be accepted. I know this first hand, because I was the thin girl who was always complimented for my figure, and it put unnecessary pressure on me as a teen and young adult to maintain my weight, for fear that I might otherwise be ridiculed, like the “fat girls.”
Although, don’t assume because I’m thin that I haven’t faced ridicule over my weight. Aside from being active, I’m a finicky eater, so I’ve struggled at times to keep weight on, which has led to comments over the years that I’m “too thin.” Telling a person they’re too thin is as much of an insult as telling someone they’re too fat. Essentially, it sends a message we’re not okay just the way we are. Yet, somehow, it’s considered a more accepted comment, as if a skinny person can simply indulge in a few tubs of ice cream and be perfect.
To the young women in my life, take it from me, there’s no ideal weight that will make you feel good about yourself if you don’t already feel it on the inside. Be active, eat healthy, and put your energy into discovering what ignites your passion. Worrying about your weight, or what others may think about your weight, is a waste of precious time.